Stress, anxiety, and even panic are a part of life for many people. There are steps you can take to help yourself feel better, take some action and gain some control.

1. Breathe!

When we get tense we tend to breathe in a very shallow manner. Try this exercise - Breathe in through your nose for the count of 4, hold for 7, exhale through your nose for 8. Repeat four times. Your heart rate and blood pressure will drop markedly.

2. Exercise.

Daily exercise increases endorphins, reduces the amount of cortisol and adrenaline, and creates a sense of well being. Find what works best for you - walking, kick boxing, dance - get the blood flowing.

3. Eat well.

Caffeine, sugar, alcohol can all add to stress in your body. Reduce or get rid of caffeine, reduce sugar and drink in moderation. Often, there is a rebound effect from alcohol that after the initial relaxation can increase body reactions such as increased heart rate. Eat healthfully and drink plenty of water to keep yourself well hydrated.

4. Talk to others.

I was once away with 4 women friends - in talking over dinner we discovered that every one of us had dealt with panic and/or anxiety. As you share your stresses they decrease, and you see you are not alone.

5. Change what you are saying to yourself.

When in the midst of feeling anxious we often do something called "awfulizing" - the OH MY GOD!! thoughts, the What if? thoughts. "What if I never succeed?" "What if I stop breathing?!" STOP! Change that thought, be kind and compassionate with yourself. Talk to yourself as you would anyone you love. Example? "I'm fine, I will be all right, it's okay that I feel this way."

6. Relax!

Find ways to incorporate relaxation into your everyday life. Meditation, a quiet walk on the beach, yoga, peaceful reading. Whatever makes you feel truly, deeply relaxed.

7. Work to create balance in your life.

We live in a 24/7 work-a-day world. We have to find a way to unplug all the technology and find balance in our lives. If you are working too much, work at cutting down the hours. Not enough time with your kids? Make it a priority. Find where you feel out of balance - hire a coach to help you!

8. Be clear with your boundaries.

Learn to say no, know what you will and won't do. Doing things you don't want to do fuels stress and anxiety. Be true to yourself and you will reduce stress in your life.

9. Distract yourself.

When in the middle of those thoughts that won't quit, the racing heart, the rapid shallow breathing - do something different! I have painted my nails through a panic attack, cleaned closets when totally stressed, it helps! You need to change the thoughts and get out of your head.

10. Find some faith.

Knowing that you are not alone, that you WILL be okay goes a long way in helping you to calm down. Whether you are Theist, Buddhist, Jewish, wherever you find solace and faith, it does help to know you are not alone. You are supported by the Universe, it will all be fine.

In The E-Myth Revisited, author Michael E. Gerber points out that many people go into business with the idea that running the business will consist of doing whatever it is that they enjoy doing (making pies is his main example). In fact, however, a solo business person needs to fill every position in the business, and these positions are many and varied. Sooner or later you will be able to hire someone for some of these positions, or out-source them. In the meantime, as a soloist consider that you will be:

1. President/CEO

The buck stops here! You are the decision maker and full responsibility for long-term planning and for day-to-day functioning is yours. This position can be lonely and for your sanity you may wish to develop a Master Mind group or hire a coach to share the burden.

2. Sales & Marketing Manager

Different sales strategies work for different people and for different products/services. The difference between your Sales Manager hat and your Sales person hat is largely a matter of perspective. As Sales Manager you will be planning, and developing long-term strategies. You will also need to decide how best to spread the word. (Check out the Top Ten Ways to Market your Service Business at http://topten.org/content/tt.AF410.htm.)

3. Sales person

You will be the person who lets the rest of the world know just how great is the product/service you are offering and how they may take advantage of it. Be sure you are clear as to exactly what it is, how it will help them, and how it is offered. Be confident that it WILL help them. Get over any fears of meeting strangers, and perhaps of cold-calling, though cold-calling is not necessary for all businesses.

4. Public Relations Manager

Public relations involves spreading the word about your business in ways other than advertising and selling. Think of yourself as an educator for your product and for your field or profession in general. You want to be sure that it is perceived in a positive way. You need to educate the public (which usually means also the news media) as to what you do without doing so in a 'sales' style that might make them feel that you are using them.

5. Janitor

Hey, someone has to keep the place clean and empty the trash! There's a high likelihood that you will be wearing this hat, also, just to keep you down to earth.

6. Bookkeeper

This is likely to be the first job to be out-sourced, but until you are ready to entrust this task to an accountant, you need to keep the records at a level somewhat improved from keeping the receipts in the shoebox to be handed to your tax person at tax time. Try using one of the excellent computer programs or a hard-copy daybook that records every business-related cost, your car mileage, and (good news!) your business income.

7. Secretary/Receptionist

Yes, you will be writing letters and email, answering the phone, and... ugh... doing the filing. If my clients are representative, this last will be one of your most onerous tasks, the one most likely to accumulate into piles scattered across numerous horizontal surfaces. Just as you would if you were in a 'regular' work environment, try to develop a routine that will prevent this. As for the telephone, it is wise to develop the habit of answering the phone, even the home phone, professionally. If you work from home, train your family in the same way. You never know who may be on the other end.

8. Human Resources Manager

You may need to deal with issues such as benefits... medical coverage, IRA contributions, mentally dealing with times when, were you working for an employer, you would need to take time off. This might be the hat your wear when you consider your own productivity... often a difficult issue for solo business people. Finding your balance between work, family, and your own self-nurturance is a form of HR function for the soloist.

9. Purchasing Manager

You will be buying your own office equipment, dealing with printers for business cards and other needs, pricing supplies. Do it carefully - you have a business budget to meet... even if you as President have not yet decided what it is. Take into account the value of your time when you have to run to the store for something you have run out of, and consider whether on-line ordering may be more efficient for you. Also, weigh the balance between the cheapest suppliers and those with whom you may develop an ongoing relationship and who will then go the extra mile for you in times of emergency.

10. Office Manager

You will make the decisions as to what is needed in terms of supplies and equipment, phone lines, how the work of Secretary and Bookkeeper will get done and generally facilitate the flow of background work. It's a thankless task, but someone has to do it. Probably five minutes a day will fill this job for the solo business, but it is an important five minutes.

-Increasingly, business people are sending graphic (or HTML) email messages resplendent with images, colored fonts and brilliant backgrounds. They perceive this email as interesting, attractive and fun.

Alternatively, other business people are opting not to use HTML email because of the drawbacks. HTML email uses more bandwidth than the plain kind. Therefore, the download is longer. If you receive 3-4 emails a day, this isn't much of a problem. However, anyone who has been doing business on the Net for awhile typically receives hundreds of emails daily. If several are HTML messages, the download time is considerable. Users with dial-up connections are the hardest hit and are unlikely to look favorably upon your pretty missives. Secondly, many people are using older email programs that won't display HTML email. When they open your HTML email, they will see garbled coding.

If you do opt to use HTML email for your business messages, keep in mind that good design is essential. A badly designed email message is as off-putting as a badly designed web site (and we have all seen plenty of those!) What's more, poorly designed HTML email is more glaringly obvious than is poorly designed text email.

1. Think readability.

It might be pretty, but if the reader can't see it, you've defeated your purpose. Red fonts against a pink background to advertise your Valentine's Day sale -- POOR idea!

2. Minimize the glare.

A recently received email contained turquoise fonts covered with a lime green highlight. Ouch!

3. Use images sparingly.

These images are bandwidth hogs. They take up much more bandwidth (and hence increase the download time) than text emails. If you're going to use images, make sure they are small -- both in dimensions and in the total number of bytes.

4. Be original.

A lot of business email messages are arriving with Outlook Express packaged stationery used for the background. "Ivy" and "Tiki Express" appear to be particular favorites. Using these pre-packaged backgrounds sends the message that you are inexperienced, and that's not the message you want to send. If you plan on using stationery, create your own. Outlook allows you to use images other than the ones that they have provided.

5. Avoid using all capitals.

In the Internet world, writing in all-caps is called "shouting." All-caps send the message that you are inexperienced or that you are "flaming." (Flames are hostile messages that are often sent in capital letters to indicate the sender's anger.) Moreover, messages sent in all capitals are difficult to read -- especially brightly colored messages against an even brighter colored background!

6. Use short lines of 55-66 characters.

Email messages that stretch the width of the screen are difficult to read and unpleasant to view. Remember that the email will display differently on the recipient's computer than it does on yours. For example, Eudora Pro allows you to choose the size of your email-viewing window. When you create a message, you will see it in whatever size window you have set up. BUT your recipient is likely to be using different software or to have the windows set at a different size. Most email software has a feature that allows you to wrap the text at approximately 55-66 characters. By wrapping, you know how wide your email will be when others receive it.

7. Use standard fonts that are installed on most computers.

That wonderful font that you downloaded from FreeStuff.com will display nicely on your computer. However, the recipient's computer will discern that your great freebie font is not installed, and it will substitute another. To be sure you know what your message will look like when opened, play it safe with choices like Times, Times New Roman and Arial.

8. No unsolicited email attachments. Ever. Please.

9. Take advantage of HTML's stronger functions.

For example, if you are publishing a newsletter, put a Table of Contents near the top. Use bookmarks so readers can click on an item in your TOC and jump directly to the linked spot in your newsletter.

10. Use white (or background) space appropriately.

Spaces between headings, between paragraphs and between images will make it easier for the eye to assimilate the content. However, be cautious of too much white space or white space that is asymmetrical.



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1. Do you look forward to seeing each other every day, and start and end the day with kind words for each other?

2. Do you enjoy playing together -- cards, chess, board games, golf, tennis -- or engaging in other recreational activities together?

3. Do you compliment each other at least five times more than you criticize one another, and speak positively about your partner to others?

4. Do you laugh together frequently and enjoy one another's jokes and humor?

5. Do you easily forgive and forget?

6. Do you share almost everything and live free of territory, possessions, and attempts to dominate the relationship?

7. Do you sit quietly with one another just being together without watching television or reading?

8. Do you make love much more than you argue?

9. Do you respect each other even when one of you is behaving in an immature manner?

10. Is your family and the world a better place because of your relationship?

If you have a tendency to push things off, chances are you do it in your professional AND your social life. Best not to let it become a habit.

1. Schedule.

Schedule your time appropriately. Have a calendar and mark down all important events and dates.

Make daily schedules and to-do lists, but make sure you stick to them, or they become self-defeating, e.g., just something else to ignore.

Work on hard things when you're most productive--i.e., if you're a morning person, get to work at the crack of dawn; if your best time is after lunch, schedule a rough appointment then.

2. Visualize your time.

Calendaring your important dates and deadlines allows you to see visually what's going on -- when it's hectic, when it isn't. This allows you to be realistic in your planning.

3. Stick to your goals.

Break large projects down into smaller bites. If you have a big report due at the end of the week, schedule time to work on it every day.

4. Set deadlines and remember your kids are watching.

When you set a deadline, you put more direction and perspective into your goals. Challenge yourself with deadlines. Track yourself and use your discipline. You set them yourself, so it's your pleasure to complete them!

Another great impetus to improve in this area is--if you have kids, realize what an example you're setting. Want your kids to grow up procrastinators? I think not! Monkey see, monkey do.

5. Get a coach. (Tell someone.)

This will give added accountability and support. If your friend knows you have a deadline coming up, he or she won't expect you to do something with or for them at the same time. A coach can work with you over a period of months in a supportive atmosphere until you've formed new habits.

6. Post-it notes.

How did we live without them? Stick them on the dashboard, on the computer monitor, on your chair, on your office door, on the Wall Street Journal. Wherever you're likely to run into them. They'll jog your memory.

7. Use tech-reminders.

Palm Pilot, calendaring program, alarm clock, whatever it takes.

8. Don't distract yourself.

Yes, you're in control. Nothing's distracting you, you're allowing yourself to be distracted. Screen your phone calls, don't go browsing on the Internet, let your email go, don't check messages on your answering machine, bury the remote, and don't go wandering down the hall at work. All those great distracters will still be there when you're through and will be, yes, something nice to look forward to.

9. The carrot.

Reward yourself for a job well done. A good bit of the time, that'll be the only form of reinforcement. Frankly I'll kill the next person who tells me to "take a warm bath," but I find all sorts of ways to tell myself "job well done" that suit just me. One thing I do is really sit back and appreciate what I need; when you learn to work for yourself, not for someone else, it removes a lot of potential wind from your sails. Why do I scrub baseboards? Because they look so darn good afterwards, and sometimes I'm the only one who knows.

10. The stick.

The carrot and the stick ... reward and punishment. Okay, we aren't kids any more, but don't forget -- it works. If you need a jolt to get out of the procrastination habit, do it yourself--better that than letting down a loved one, annoying your kids, getting fired, or losing friends. Be creative and mild, but make an impression on yourself. As if having to stay up all night to finish a procrastinated-project weren't enough. :)

 

have met many new friends,

While sittin' at this ol’ PC;

I know I’ll never see them all,

But that’s alright with me.

 

 

We share cartoons, jokes, and stories,

And often poems that rhyme;

But many messages just say hello,

And, believe me, those are the best kind!

 

 

These friends are scattered far and near,

Across this great land of ours;

Canada,, New Zealand, and Australia, too,

But they sure have funny hours!

 

 

Those messages mean so much to me,

Probably more than you’ll ever know;

They help me make it through the day,

‘Cause I can’t get out and go!

 

 

So see my friend, when you write to me,

Even if it’s just a hello or hi;

I know someone has thought of me,

And I get higher than the sky!

 

 

So each new page that I create,

Really means Thanks, from me to you;

In hopes that I can brighten YOUR day,

And maybe bring a smile or two.

 

 

The day will come, this I know,

When I can kick up my heels again;

And each of you will have played a part,

And I am proud to call you MY FRIEND!